Galicia is wet and windy and very green- very much like home really. It is full of happy farm animals that wander around freely, including on The Camino! The farmers and their wives look beautiful, like gnarled and aged old trees full of years. They wear peasant clothing and offer endless smiles and 'Buen Camino' as they herd their sheep and cows from one side of The Camino to the other. Ah and the smell! I love the smell of haylage and cow pooh. It is so earthy, so organic, so life giving. I have even seen happy pigs here snortling around in grass, then, as if standing for any length of time is just too much effort they flop and their whole enormous weight gives a gratifying solid thud sound as they hit the ground. They will stand for a deep scratch or two from a passing pelegrino but just as quickly grunt as if to say 'enough' and move away. I could happily live here particularly as the local wine in the restaurants is only 2.5 euros a BOTTLE! (have I told you this numerous times ?!) Sadly at lunch yesterday I actually had to leave half a bottle as even I cannot walk after a whole bottle. Actually I think its alcoholic content is much lower than what I drink at home because I have never felt even slightly tipsy after imbibing the stuff.
Gratitude for what I have come to understand about my own journey through listening to Francessca, who I left 3 days ago. I needed to finish my Camino alone. I have struggled with understanding how people can lie so deeply and still live with themselves. In one simple sentence Francessca tells me that she learnt to lie from her mum, who hid things from her despotic father. Her mum wanted to give her children good things and they were very poor so she gave them behind his back and told her children not to tell him. From this Francessca learnt that it was fine to lie to your partner- afterall it was in a good cause and still she struggles with this behaviour today. She has not told her husband who she is separated from that she is having an affair. The rational, the justification for this is that she 'doesn't want to hurt him' I suggest its more to do with self-protection and she agrees and says that when you lie, the person you lie to first and foremost all the time is yourself. Her affair is understandable in human terms- her husband has grown up in an emotionally cold home and lacks emotional processing skills, particularly re negative feelings. He is addicted to porn- an oh so ready resource of 'comfort'. She has no problem with porn per se but she does have a problem with the sexual acts he wants to do that she does not- and he never stops asking and hoping. She has agreed on occasion but each time it has caused her so much distress that she has completely stopped initiating any love-making, dreading what may be requested. This has slowly 'killed' her love for her husband. Her desperate need to be loved has been met in the arms of an Italian, who, incidentally, she is also lying to. I am truly SO SO grateful that I know the love of God. I am so truly grateful that if we follow in His ways they are life giving- even when we don't feel like it. I am truly grateful that 'there by the GRACE of God go I'. Francessca puts our different paths down to the fact that I am a strong person and she is not but I suggest that we have the same God and all that is available to me is also available to her- if she truly seeks she WILL find.
Lucas suggests that having children makes all the difference and this I agree does make a difference. Poor Francessca is in such a pickle as she has been with her husband since she was 17- a long history to let go but she cannot bear the status quo, even less so now she has found another man. Her husband is wealthy and succesful and independent to the point that he needs no help. Her lover is poor. What should she do? She has been in counselling for 2 years and still cannot decide, vacillating daily with stress levels sky high. I hope she finds her answer.
Much love, Kate
Rom 8
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